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Hey Brew,
This week, Cape Town served up a chaotic platter: lionesses hijacking bakkies, cancer warriors outrunning despair, and baboon drama that’s literally shooting itself in the back.
Oh, and developers are cramming us into shoeboxes and calling it "innovation."
Grab a stiff drink—this one’s a wild ride:
Co-living: Genius or just desperate? (Spoiler: Probably both.)
Lioness hops onto bakkie—because why not hitch a ride like a feline Uber?
A dad with stage 4 cancer runs a half-marathon for kids who can’t. Cue the tears.
Let’s first take a look at our latest sponsor:
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Now let’s dive in:
🗞️ The Headlines
🏠 Co-Living: Affordable or Just Sad?
Johannesburg and Cape Town’s young professionals are trading privacy for WiFi and a bed in what’s either a revolutionary urban adaptation or proof that our economy is held together by duct tape.
✔️ The Deal:
Micro-apartments (read: glorified cupboards) are selling out. Prices start at "barely affordable" instead of "lol, never."
Co-living spaces charge R6,500–R8,000/month for a room, a community vibe, and the existential dread of sharing a fridge.
Cape Town’s winning because, as always, scarcity = profit. Developers are turning heritage buildings into chic shoeboxes with 22% margins.
✔️ Real Talk:
"This isn’t a cure—it’s a Band-Aid on a bullet wound." — Yael Geffen, CEO of Lew Geffen Sotheby’s
🦁 Lioness Joins Safari—As a Passenger
Move over, Uber Pet. A lioness in a game reserve hopped onto JC Oosthuizen’s bakkie for a 10-minute joyride, proving that:
Cats always pick the best seats.
South Africa’s wildlife is extra.
✔️ Best Reactions:
"Knowing myself, I’d have driven straight to my in-laws just to say hi." — @eskom__rsa
"Insurance wouldn’t believe you if things went south." — @sunick_ (valid)
🏃♂️ Dad Runs Half-Marathon While Battling Stage 4 Cancer
Aadam Forgan, a Cape Town father with stage 4 colorectal cancer, ran the Outeniqua Half Marathon to raise funds for childhood cancer. Because apparently chemo wasn’t enough of a workout.
✔️ Why It Hits Hard:
He trains between 8-hour chemo sessions.
His BackaBuddy campaign smashed its R20k target (R31,500 and counting).
"Running gives me hope. It’s proof I’m still here."
🐒 Baboon Shot in Pringle Bay—Again
Another baboon killed, another round of outrage. This time, witnesses say it was shot in the back. Meanwhile, the Overstrand Municipality’s solution? More paintball guns. Because violence fixes everything.
✔️ The Drama:
Locals: "Fix the waste dump and enforce baboon-proof bins!"
Municipality: "Best I can do is a water cannon."
💎 Hidden Gems & Local Legends
☕ La Cotte Mill: Coffee with a Side of History
Africa’s oldest water mill has been reborn as Franschhoek’s most charming caffeine pitstop. Sit on the stoep sipping artisanal coffee while the original mill wheel turns beside you - because nothing says "I'm cultured" like pastries with a side of 18th-century engineering.
✔️ Why we're obsessed:
Chef Keshia Louw's patisserie game is illegal (strawberry tartlets? Basque cheesecake? We surrender)
That sourdough loaf you'll "accidentally" take home
The vibe: Dutch Golden Age meets Cape Town foodie
📍 La Cotte Farm, Franschhoek | Wed–Sun, 8am–3pm
🌍 Espressolab: World’s 11th Best Coffee Shop (Yes, Ours!)
Truth got dethroned. Woodstock's Espressolab just landed at #11 in the Top 100 Coffee Shops Worldwide, and honey, they earned it.
✔️ What makes it elite:
Single-origin beans with full traceability (know your farmer, flex your ethics)
Baristas who geek out over extraction times like sommeliers with wine
Sustainability practices that'll make your reusable cup feel seen
🍕 Alfi Pizza: New Haven-Style in Sea Point
The crew behind Jarryd's said "Let's bring Connecticut pizza to Sea Point" and honestly? Bless them.
✔️ What to expect:
Thin-crust pies with just enough char
The Diavola: spicy salami + hot honey = culinary witchcraft
Pizzaiolos they call "sourdough DJs" (we can't make this up)
📍 158 Main Road, Sea Point | Tue–Sun, 4pm–11pm
🍔 Brash Burger: Smashburgers with Swagger
Their food truck was legendary. Now their Sea Point spot is serving two perfect burgers and calling it a day.
✔️ The menu (all you need):
The Classic: American cheese, pickles, onion - no notes
Mack Daddy: Double patty, special sauce, all the attitude
Radley & Finch wine on tap (because why should beer have all the fun?)
📍 90 Regent Road, Sea Point | Sun–Thu 'til 10pm, Fri/Sat 'til 11pm
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🎧 Live Music & Entertainment
Friday, May 2
🎷 Crimson House Live @ District
One night only! Expect sax solos, barefoot dancing, and a crowd that brought their own maracas.
🎭 One Night with Clint L @ Hanover Street Cape Town’s smoothest mic man takes the stage for a night of soul, nostalgia, and dangerously flirty crowd banter
🎧 Koolest Groove @ The Honey Pot Bar
A sunset jam sesh with lowkey funk, cold drinks, and good people.
Saturday, May 3
🏃♀️ Night Run to Honour Nurses @ Mouille Point Lighthouse
Run under the stars for a beautiful cause. Endorphins + emotions guaranteed.
🕺 Cape Palooza @ Twinell Rooftop
Rooftop vibes + deep grooves = the city’s new favourite day party.
🎤 ALTITUDE Day & Night @ Defected Studio
Dance from 4 PM to 4 AM if your knees allow. DJs, visuals, madness.
Sunday, May 4
🍺 Benefit for Alan Thwaites @ Woodstock Brewery
Cold pints. Live music. Local legends. All in support of a great cause for the legendary musician Alan Thwaites.
🐚 St Tropez Season Finale @ Cabo Beach
Your last chance to fake summer before the puffer jackets win. DJs, beach drinks, barefoot chaos.
🎶 A Choral Confluence @ Christ Church Constantia
Cape Town Camerata & Children’s Choir in perfect harmony. For those who love goosebumps.
Monday, May 5
🧠 BigFive Summit 2025 @ Innovation City
A who's-who of Cape Town’s tech, marketing, and startup scene. Think panels, pitches, and networking that actually matters.
🗣️ Dad’s Talk @ CHS Life Centre
A rare safe space for dads to connect, vent, and laugh about toddler tantrums or teenage sass.
☕ Business Networking Coffee Meetup @ The Backyard Café
No suits, no pressure. Just caffeine, ideas, and potential biz besties.
Tuesday, May 6
👶 Creative Writing Class: Artists & Entrepreneurs @ Ground Zero Café, Obs
Whether you're a poet or pitch-deck scribbler, this one’s for you. Learn to write stuff people actually read.
🧵 Create Your Story: Jewelry Workshop @ Old Biscuit Mill
Craft something meaningful with your hands — and leave with wearable proof.
Wednesday, May 7
🏗️ BUILD 2025 Conference @ Every Nation Church N1 City
Ideas, builders, and startups collide. Panels, pitches, and people who say “MVP” a lot.
🎙️ Dan Corder Presents: Wouldn’t You Like To Know @ The Gin Bar
Smart, spicy storytelling with a twist (and gin). Come for the content, stay for the chaos.
🍷 Meet the Maker: Warwick Wine Estate @ Woolworths Waterstone
Sip, swirl, and chat with the winemakers themselves.
Thursday, May 8
💼 Shaping the Western Cape’s Economic Future @ The President Hotel
A high-level panel with big talk and maybe bigger croissants.
🎻 Players’ Fund Dinner with DHL Stormers @ Kelvin Grove Club
Dinner, live auctions, and actual rugby royalty in the room. Bring your wallet and your selfie game.
🎨 Design Your Gin Workshop @ 399 Albert Rd
Botanicals, beakers, and bragging rights. Walk out with your own bottle.
😂 Meme of the Week
Cape Town: where we throw shade and sell fridge magnets in the same breath.
That look says: “Thanks for funding the local economy — now please go back to your overpriced Airbnb.”
Got a meme that captures Cape Town’s wild spirit?
Tag it on Instagram or Reddit with #CPTBrew for a chance to be featured in next week’s edition.
Alright Brew, that’s a wrap. Cape Town remains unhinged—lion Ubers, cancer-defying heroes, and baboon drama that’s way too real.
Got a tip? A rant? A co-living horror story? Hit reply.
Until next week, keep your appliances explosion-free and your pizzas wood-fired.
~ CPT Brew
P.S. Share this with someone who’d also let a lioness hitch a ride.
