Hey {{first_name | Brew}} ,
We see you, fellow weekender-in-training. This issue’s got local chaos, winter ramen therapy, events that slap.
🎟️First we’d like to announce that we’re launching something juicy...
CPT Brew Coupon Cards are coming, think: one link, 10 local deals (like 10% off food, free drinks, and more), usable once per spot, valid for a full year.
We’re giving away 10 for free this month to our most loyal readers and then it’s just R97 for access. Only 500 in total.
Own a local spot?
Get featured and reach 40,000+ Cape Towners over the next year.
Takes 2 minutes to join and we handle the rest.
Now lets get into it:
🗞️ News – Everest summits, tyre-slaying lawyers, baboons, bees, and babushkas in Jonkershoek
💎 Hidden Gems – Ramen raids, vineyard escapes, burger worship, and underrated eats
🎉 What’s Happenin’ – Your full July 11–17 event list: parties, concerts, wild walks, theatre, and more
Let’s dive in:
🗞️ The Headlines
🧗 AUTISM AWARENESS HITS EVEREST’S PEAK (AND OUR HEARTS)
Retreat teen Aidan Martin summits Everest Base Camp to scream: “Autism isn’t a barrier—it’s a damn superpower.”
Why we’re stanning:
Neurodivergent fam love: “My cousins? Geniuses. Society? Catch up.”
Grief to grit: Lost his bestie to suicide in 2021. Response? “Let’s help the youth. Now.”
Thin air, thick resolve: Gasping on Everest, he whispered: “One breath. One step.”
Verdict: This 18-year-old future lawyer just schooled us all in badass empathy.
⚖️ LAWYER SLASHES TYRES, MAGISTRATE SLASHES DEFENCE
Gary Trappler (yes, a lawyer) guilty of knifing neighbour Thandi Mgwaba’s tyres. Racist motive? “Ask the Equality Court, bruh.”
Courtroom tea ☕:
CCTV don’t lie: Four sneaky bends by the car. Note: Placed then yoinked. Suspish.
Son’s defence: “Videos can be faked!” Magistrate: “...But was this fake? Sit down.”
Bail: R1k. Karma: Eternal side-eye from Green Point Karens.
Next time, try therapy, not a box cutter.
🐝 30 MILLION BEES RISE FROM WILDFIRE ASHES
2017 Knysna fires torched everything. Now? Cape honeybees are THRIVING like a TikTok influencer.
The buzz:
Gift of the Givers MVP: Emergency sugar syrup + pollen buffets. Bees: “We stan.”
8-year glow-up: From near-extinction to pollinating 80% of the Garden Route.
Lesson: Nature + humans collab > Elon’s Mars dreams.
❄️ RUSSIAN TEEN VS. JONKERSHOOK STORM: 1-0
18-year-old hikes solo. Storm says “lol no.” Cue: hypothermia, dying phone, and a rock bed for the night.
Rescue mission flex:
WSAR: Deployed 20 pros. Found him walking out at dawn. King energy.
His mistake: Ignoring weather apps. Our take: Mountain > ego. Always.
🔌The Plug
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💎 Hidden Gems
🍜 RAMEN REBELS: BROTH THERAPY FOR WINTER SOULS
Slurp loud or stay home.
Bodega Ramen (Wale St): Rotating menu = surprise bowl roulette. Prawn tom yum? Hell yes. Vegan ramen? Double hell yes. Gluten-free noodles? Zero shame.
Yatai Ramen (Bree St): Tokyo-style noodles = liquid hug for your soul. Mondays: R99 ramen (wagyu truffle excluded, obvs).
Izakaya Matsuri (Green Point): Hidden like your ex's emotions. Find it = life achievement unlocked. Tonkatsu ramen: Pork belly + sesame = meat coma incoming.
🚗 ESCAPE ARTISTS: VINEYARDS > OFFICE DRAMA
Swap spreadsheets for Sauvignon.
Franschhoek: Babylonstoren gardens + Boschendal pastries = serotonin boost. Sip at Haute Cabriere: Views so sharp, they’ll cut your existential dread. Secret: Wine Tram = adult Disneyland without Mickey’s judgment.
Stellenbosch: Moederkerk + Pierneef art = culture points scored. Botanical Gardens > your therapist’s waiting room. Eat at bistros run by chefs who’d knife-fight over olive oil brands.
🍔 BURGER BONANZA: PATTY POETRY
Conscious Carnivores (Waterfront): Wagyu patty + maple ‘macon’ + horseradish aioli = Halaal heaven. Shroom burger? Cheese-stuffed fungi witchcraft.
Smasht. (Claremont): Smashed patties + jalapeños = uncomplicated joy. Loaded fries: Cheesy sauce + crumbled patty = nap required. Vibe: "Grandma’s driveway turned burger shrine."
🌬️ What’s Happenin’
Got a poster-worthy event? Click here to feature it with a custom poster.
FRIDAY 11TH JULY
Jazz Alley: Internet Athi & Bonga Kwana
Neo-soul meets deep jazz grooves in the plush depths of Gorgeous George. Come for the vibe, stay for the vocals. Starts 8PM
Wine & Social at Athletic Club
Sip, swirl, repeat. It’s a classy kickoff to the weekend at one of the city’s best-dressed haunts. Starts 5:30PM
Erotika at Botanik
Sensual, steamy, and strictly private. If your Friday plans didn’t include velvet masks and whispered chaos in the garden — they do now. Starts 8PM
SATURDAY 12TH JULY
THE LOFT
House heads unite. Deep grooves, warm lights, and a dancefloor that feels like home. Starts 7PM
Woodstock Brewery Derby Day
Rugby on big screens. Beer by the litre. House Rules & Black Mamba Man on the decks. Starts 5PM
Wild Food Winter Walk
Forage like a forest elf, then snack like a picnic god. It’s a wild walk with Veld and Sea. Starts 11AM
SUNDAY 13TH JULY
Wild Buggers: Revving Up for the Lens!
VW bugs, mountain roads, and brunch by the sea. Join the Beach Buggy Club’s scenic drive from Bothasig to Muizenberg for a filmed cruise with classic cars and ocean views. Starts 9:30AM
Gangsters Tea & Other Short Films
Cape Town noir, but make it indie. A showcase of local short films that punch above their runtime. Starts 6PM
Zip Zap Circus: Chasing Dreams
High-flying flips and heartwarming stories collide in this family-friendly theatre-meets-acrobatics show.
MONDAY 14TH JULY
Long March to Freedom Exhibit
Wander through 100 life-sized bronze figures — from Mandela to unsung legends — in this powerful outdoor exhibition.
How Ouma Rooi Koeksisters Are Made
Step into a family-run factory that’s really just one giant kitchen. You’ll learn how these syrupy, golden spirals are twisted by hand — and get to twist your own.
TUESDAY 15TH JULY
Adaptation of Gogol’s Diary of a Madman
One man. One descent into madness. Gogol’s classic gets a fresh local twist in this stage adaptation. Starts 8PM
Chef’s Summit at Makers Landing
Cape Town’s kitchen royalty gathers for a day of demos, food chats, and probably someone saying “umami” too much.
WEDNESDAY 16TH JULY
Wine & Wellness Wednesday
A midweek reset: infrared sauna, cold plunge, and a glass of vino to top it off. Self-care, but classy. Starts 5PM
Devin Gray Solo Show
Brooklyn-based drummer and composer brings his experimental jazz rhythms to local ears. One-night-only energy. Starts 7:30PM
La Paz Audio Tour: Echoes Through Time
Part theatre, part walking tour. Pop on headphones and let the streets whisper their stories. Starts 5PM
THURSDAY 17TH JULY
Unruly at Baxter Theatre
A gripping stage production diving into identity, power, and rebellion. Bold theatre for bold minds. Starts 8PM
Travel & Hospitality Industry Quiz Night
Think you know your Santorini from your Stellenbosch? Test your travel IQ at this fun industry mixer. Starts 6PM
Afro Resonance
Late-night rhythms and genre-bending Afro beats at one of the city’s iconic underground spots. Starts 10PM
🖼️ Pic of the Week
📍 Judas Peak Hike via Myburgh Ravine
Local take: “Had a lot of setbacks but we managed to finish it just under 7 hours.”
Got a shot worth sharing?
Hit reply and show us what your lens sees out there.
That’s your week, fully brewed.
Stay lekker, stay curious and if you hit up any of these events or spots, send pics (bonus points for dog cameos or questionable dance moves).
Catch you in the next issue,
🍺 Team CPT Brew
P.S. Got an event, a gem, or a secret sandwich spot we need to check out? Just reply and tell us.
